The Adventures of Miss Bonnified

Say My Name, Say My Name
by Bonnie N. Clyde

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet." - Juliet from "Romeo And Juliet"

My name is Bonnie N. Clyde. While Bonnie is my real first name, Clyde isn't my true last name although that would be pretty bad ass if it was. I've been Bonnie N. Clyde for so long and it's what most people recognize me as.

So a little background on how I got my new-ish name.

My name is Bonnie but that apparently came about as a very fortunate accident. The name "Bonnie" means "beautiful" and because my dad was the one who picked my name, I went through the greater majority of my life thinking my dad fell in love with my wrinkly newborn self at first sight and thought me lovely beyond compare. Wanting confirmation of this, I asked him a few years ago if this was true. After my dad laughed at me (because he's uber sensitive like that), he dashed my dream by telling me "Oh no. Daddy wanted to name you Bunny."

...uh....what?

My father, ladies and gentlemen, thinks bunnies are super cuddly and cute so he wanted me to grow up with these same characteristics. Therefore, that must've meant that instead of thinking I was the most glorious child ever born, he took one look at me, thought I looked like some kind of wrinkled alien and figured I needed all the help I could get. By giving me the name of something as adorable as a baby rabbit, I think he was hoping beyond hope that I would somehow also magically be cute and cuddly when I grew up.

I don't think he had any idea that the name Bunny would be one that most adult entertainers favor.

Refusing to believe he wanted to name me after a petting zoo animal, I decided to let my face do the talking for me. He mistook my look of abject horror as incomprehension because he helpfully tried to clarify things by saying "You know. Like a bunny rabbit?". My dad's good at a lot of things but reading my facial expressions obviously isn't his forte because he misinterpreted the "OMG, OH NO HE DI'INT" look on my face as one of confusion. Therefore, he decided to drive the point home by doing a bunny hop around the living room while saying "Like this. A bunny. You know. Hoppity hop".

Yeah. My dad, ladies and gentlemen, wanted me to go through the rest of my life named after the icon for Easter and the entire Playboy empire. That's just fan-freaking-tastic.

Luckily for me, the nurse assigned to me that day either :

- misunderstood my dad when he said my name was to be Bunny
- understood my dad, decided to take pity on me and gave me a name that sounded close enough to Bunny so my dad wouldn't be too suspicious

I thank the powers that be everyday for that nurse. No joke.

I suppose you can chalk it up to luck that I am Bonnie instead of Bunny but then again, I'm a lucky girl. What can I say? :D

As for the middle initial and Clyde as my last name, I've always loved Bonnie and Clyde. There's just something so undeniably romantic about their story....minus the part where they're riddled by bullets during their last living hour on this Earth but I'm going to conveniently ignore that. I decided to change the "and" to "N." and adopted Clyde as my last name.

Bonnie N. Clyde.

I'm so s-m-r-t. Haa haa haa!!

But you want to know the real reason for the name? It stems from my search for finding my Clyde, the man who is my partner in crime and who is going to stand by me through whatever might come our way through this side of Heaven and Hell. My search has brought me into contact with all the weird and strange things that I'll be blogging about in addition to sharing the weird things that run through my head on a daily basis.

Life is meant to be a ride like no other and I'm in it to win it.

I'm Bonnie N. Clyde. Welcome to the strange landscaped view of my mind and all the funnery that follows me. Don't be scared and don't be shy. The waters just fine so hop in in, strap yourself down, hold on tight and enjoy the ride.

Copyright retained by Bonnie N. Clyde.